Jonathan Slakey is this guy who goes to this school called Davis and OH BOY do I have this story about him. First get rid of the monkeys, GET RID OF THEM!!

Alright good, now, I will tell you the truth. The sordid, dark, terrible, and bleak history of him who is Jonathan Slakey. . . .

Jonathan thinks you will have a nice day :)

Jonathan Thon Slakey is a flippen crazy guy who's way way cooler than anyone you knew from high school. He can totally kick your butt, and make french toast like no other.

Jonathan also knows Hapkido

Jonathan is also a big fan of the hash browns. He makes them early in the morning before anyone is awake.

Jonathan's fungus toe has been known to eat small children