Embarrassing campaign slogans, which he probably thought were witty. Maxwell Kappes was a candidate for ASUCD Senate in the Fall 2012 ASUCD Election running on the S.L.A.T.E. slate,. He won the sixth seat in the election in the thirteenth round because of the elimination of all other remaining candidates, being shy of threshold by a little more than one vote. 

Following his Senate term Max decided to run for the ASUCD Vice Presidency with Armando Figueroa in the Winter 2014 ASUCD Election. The two ran on a fusion SMART/Independent ticket, this time endorsed by The Aggie and KDVS.

Kappes was known throughout his career in student government for wearing a stupid fucking squid hat all the time, and for refusing to pick a side during the Divestment from Israel campaign.

Outside ASUCD

Max was in a lot of clubs,.  He was the president of the Davis Urban Gaming Group (DUGG) and head administrator of Humans vs. Zombies, along with being a founding organizer for Davis Cards and Games.  In addition to these organizations he was a member of American's Elect, Davis College Democrats, Davis Anime Club, and Davis Swing Dancers. Please note the immense failson and otaku virgin energy emanating from most of these choices. 

Campaigns and Tenure

Taking ASUCD Senate as seriously as it deservesSenate

The best part is nobody looks like they're treating this like anything unusual.


Before his campaign he was a member of Internal Affairs Commission and had previously worked for the Elections Committee, ASUCD Senator Justin Goss, and KDVS.  During his campaign he gained support from an increasing number of senators along with the chair of the Internal Affairs Commission and the ASUCD Controller along with some form of support from The Aggie (even if they didn't endorse him).  Max was the first transfer student to win a senate seat in 5 years.

Said nobody ever

Ideologically Max was generally against Senate Resolutions, fiscally conservative, and generally sided with SMART over NOW on hot-button issues, though not always.  He thought of himself as the joker of the table, giving annoying little speeches, responding to arguments sarcastically, and submitting parody legislation.  He worked closely with Miles Thomas. Max would also occasionally work with senators Armando Figueroa, Ryan Wonders, and Liam Burke from issue to issue.

As a senator Max worked primarily on increasing the number of senators, believing that a larger number of representatives would lead to more voices that weren't coming from greek and social justice spaces, working with The Aggie to ensure long-term viability, and creating a commission for clubs.  This last platform put him at direct odds with the Outreach Assembly, whom he believed wasn't doing much in line with it's constitutional duties.  None of these platforms were accomplished, primarily because of his own incompetency and general off-putting and pompous manner. To date, many of Max's colleagues express a hope that, since graduating UC Davis, Max has gone to therapy, and learned how to actually interact with real people with empathy, or at least realized that being a knowitall little twerp who is mainly involved in student government for the lulz or whatever is actually a really fucking sad and embarrassing way to live, and that his approach actively undermined whatever goals he attempted to accomplish. 

Max was frequently infuriated with the party system and would mock it constantly, seemingly without realizing that this expression of anger and derision severely undermine his frequently expressed belief that student government was dumb, and that he was approaching the entire endeavor from an ironic, above-it-all distance. If you really didn't care, Max, why were you so angry? Why even spend your time in student government at all? Weren't there enough nerf gun games, Reddit flame wars, and awkward swing dances to fill your time? Wouldn't you have rather have spent your time masturbating to cartoons and women who you have sad little nerd-boy unrequited crushes on, a presumed favorite pastime of yours? 

Anyways, Max liked to waste everyone's time doing bits, such as making up his own slates or joining defunct slates at the drop of the hat.  For example, he formed S.L.A.T.E., joined FUCK, and probably tried to join GO or some other past slate as well - seriously cutting edge comedy, here.  Absolutely riveting and gut-busting.

He was also a co-founder of BEST and allegedly made an effort to keep the slate organized, but his incompetency (see above) resulted in their crushing defeat in the debut election. After the next election, the slate was finished. Max attempted to console himself by telling himself and all who would listen that, while the slate had collapsed and failed to achieve its goals (winning elections), he had still won, in a sense and from a particular perspective (the perspective being that of a coping mechanism), that the slate had been replaced with a string of senators Max would give exclusive advice to.

Vice Presidency

Initially Max considered running for a second term in Senate, believe it would allow him to dominate the discussion at the table because of his seniority and experience, and because of the inherent privilege given towards white men, even one as embarrassing and annoying as Max. However, towards the tail-end of his term he grew increasingly frustrated with what he saw as the "general incompetence" of people in the association, including himself and instead opted to quit.  Unfortunately, his retirement would not last.

Max ran with Armando Figueroa  for Vice President. Max was allegedly also scouted for the Vice Presidency by Kabir Kapur and Ryan Wonders.  Max decided to run with Armando because he felt as though Armando would give him the most autonomy in the position, fearing that Kabir and Ryan would try to limit his ability to, as he would put it, "have fun with the whole thing."

Armando and Max ran on a lot of platforms, from Max's senate platforms of increasing club presence in the association and increasing the number of campus events to newer ones like creating a graduation photo unit and creating a 24-hour computer lab on campus.  During the election SMART (Armando's party) fielded 5 candidate to NOW's 6, but the Figueroa/Kappes ticket was also endorsed by Artem Senchev, Gloria Chen, and Diana Lopez Solorzano, along with being supported by independent senators Gareth Smythe and Shehzad Lokhandwalla.  In addition, Max assisted in getting a fee referendum on the ballot for The Aggie, which helped drive up voter turnout.  The final tally of the election was close, with Figueroa/Kappes winning 45% to 40% against Ryan Wonders.

During their tenure, Max and Armando managed to complete almost none of their platforms. Instead, they found themselves focusing a large portion of their efforts on fixing problems with the current units over a remodel of the Memorial Union (there was an attempt to remodel the third floor in this time, but they squashed it in an effort to save money).  They also found themselves inheriting a large structural deficit, giving Max some autonomy over being allowed to cut (but not remove) many ASUCD services he deemed unnecessary.  This lead to a rather controversial budget hearing, but many of the cuts were let through on account of a lack of funding.

The Idiot-Virgin and the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict

While Max was Vice President, the campaign for a resolution by ASUCD to demand that the UC System divest from Israel Israel Divestment was gaining steam. The issue had been running around the association for a little over a year now, but had failed to make it to the Senate table.  Max felt that the issue was alienating, as he felt that student government was not the place to discuss the State of Israel's murder and displacement of the Palestinian peoples, or the UC System's own complicity in the violence.  Max tried to broker a deal with the commission chairs to send the resolution straight to the Senate table (feeling it had nothing to do with ASUCD and believing that it's damage would be minimized if it only had one meeting instead of four) but he was opposed by both sides.  The bill ultimately made it the the table, where after an 8 hour hearing the final vote tally was 5-5-2. Max, coward that he was, refused to take a stand or even make any sort of an attempt to form an opinion about the world around him, and ultimately abstained. Max had the power to cast the tie-breaking vote, and, faced with an actual decision with actual material impacts, and which would require him to have an actual opinion, he collapsed. Max's abstention caused the bill to fail, the same result that would have happened had he voted against the bill, but of course, voting for or against the bill would require having the integrity to say what you believe and stand by it, which was simply too much to ask of someone raised on a steady diet of circa-2012 nerd culture and no pussy. Indeed, Max spent most of the meeting solving ken-ken puzzles, drawing caterpillar brand tractors, and pretending to get drunk, at the same time that many students and activists talked about the traumas their families had suffered at the hands of the Israeli government. The following summer, Israel bombed Gaza, killing over 2000 people, including almost 500 children. Presumably, Maxwell spent most of this time solving ken-ken puzzles and pretending to get drunk as well. 

Another one of Max's larger pushes was for the abolition of Cal Aggie Camp, a student run camp in the Sierra's for foster children.  Many students believed that Cal Aggie Camp provides a beneficial camp experience for the students running it along with the children that go.  Max believes those people are foolish.  During budget hearings Armando asked Cal Aggie Camp to make cuts of 15%, the same amount that had to be cut from the budget as a whole.  When they refused, Max told them he would be sanctioned to cut them to $0 if they didn't cooperate.  They responded to Armando by delivering a 20-minute presentation to senate urging for more funding.  They were cut 17%.  Later in the term Max, along with the controller Rylan Schaeffer, made a push to retroactively remove all funding granted to Cal Aggie Camp, a fight which ended with Rylan's resignation due to frustration with the short-sightedness of the association.

^This paragraph I haven't edited at all, so presumably this language comes from Max himself. Imagine writing this and thinking that it makes you look good, and not like a vindictive manchild asshole who wants to cut services for foster children because Muh Budget, and responds to an impassioned plea for more funding by cutting their funds by 2% more than you had originally demanded. And then imagine following up on that action by moving to finish off the service once and for all. I mean seriously. 

Max also pushed heavily for budget cuts late in his term.  Due to the dwindling reserves of the association unless strict budget reforms were initiated Max and the Business Manager feared that the association would become financially insolvent.  Max then pushed for long-term payroll changes, definitions of how and when reserves can be spent, and mandatory reserve requirements.

Max also helped push against joining UCSA while trying to reign in advocacy to limit it to campus and city/county only.  He, along with future California State Assembly-member Alex Lee, helped re-make AggieTV to focus more on profit and less on zombie movies. While he had no time for foster children and even less time for Palestinians, Max always had time for sugary iced drinks enjoyed primarily by children, moving to save an ICEE machine during the campus remodel by bringing it from the CoHo To Go to the CoHo proper.  He worked with Entertainment Council to start campus Open-Mic Nights, while simultaneously trying to destroy Entertainment Council's ability to fund concerts and other large events, believing they had poor student-to-dollar ratios, believing numerous smaller events would be more beneficial to campus.  Max, of course, wanted to have an opportunity to try out his stand-up material, and didn't really enjoy music that wasn't in the opening or end credits of his favorite anime. Had the Entertainment Council tried to book the people who did the theme song to, say, Attack on Titan, instead of music normal people actually listen to like Drake, the Postal Service, or Bon Iver, Max would have supported it. 

True to annoying, tryhard form, Max had a 'signature legislation' which he was able to get passed on its third introduction, which was a Senate Resolution to let Berkeley know that it was too pretentious.

Following the election of Kappes/Figueroa, NOW retired as a slate.  SMART then collapsed quickly afterwards, only existing following their election as a vehicle for to elect Mariah Kala Watson, who now goes to Harvard Law, to the presidency.  

After graduating from UC Davis, Max initially seemed to be on an upward trajectory, working for the California State Assembly for a few years as a press intern, followed by a stint with UC Davis administration as a receptionist, and then a job for two years Colorado Democratic Party for two years as a press researcher. Now, however, Max appears to be done with politics, as he now works for a company that repossesses cars when people fall behind on payments. In his free time, Max works for a company called Geeks Who Drink, which hosts bar trivia events. It's unclear if he wears the squid hat at trivia night.



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2013-01-21 12:23:41   As a campaign manager of the Friends Urging Campus Kindness, I'm happy to designate you as an Official Candidate of our slate. Despite the fact that you were elected. And because essentially anyone who asked could be a member of our slate, and all members of our slate are Official Candidates by tradition.

Besides, you have the perfect pedigree to join the Friends anyway: gamer, IAC, Elections Committee, KDVS. —BrentLaabs

2013-03-17 15:53:47   You WISH you were any where NEAR as cool as I am! —DylanSchaefer

2013-03-18 20:43:01   No Dylan, you wish you were half the cool I am. —MaxwellKappes

2013-03-18 23:34:36   Max is a pretty cool guy. he represents students and doesnt afraid of anything —RyanMeyerhoff

2013-08-09 03:09:38   two thumbs up !!! —JeffersonChau

2013-08-09 09:48:26   fight the good fight —StevenDaubert

2013-09-27 17:16:58   Keep f.u.c.k.ing the good fuck, Maxwell. —RobRoy

2013-09-30 01:26:02   re: the piece of shit speech he gave.

lol nothing changes —RyanMeyerhoff

2013-11-17 14:48:39   I can't wait for you to apply to med school in 5 years and then realize the monster you have created —StevenDaubert

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