The Professor is a fellah primarily seen wandering downtown Grand Rapids in his sweatpants, tennis shoes, and ratty sweatshirt. Most telltale signs that you are dealing with The Professor are his wild and curly gray locks, which sprout in all directions from his head (save the top, which is bald) and his taped together glasses, through which he sees a world entirely of his own imaginings. The Professor is known to howl, scream, yell, summersault, cartwheel, vomit, gesticulate at a moments notice; his exclamations are of utter surprise to strangers but go mainly unnoticed by the locals who are used to him. He was once spotted with his pants about his ankles saluting the flag pole in front of the Pantlind Hotel. Some people say he is a brain surgeon gone insane after botching a surgery performed on his own wife, that he is a brilliant composer, that he lives off a trust fund- I'm too afraid to talk to the guy, who is he?!?!