The Walk of Shame

At some point in your college career, you will probably experience the "walk of shame". The "Walk of Shame" refers to the embarrassing walk home after a long, drunken (often sex-filled) night. It is often characterized by messy hair, wrinkled "party" clothes from the night before, the stench of stale alcohol and cigarettes, and smeared makeup (for women, or after Halloween). People usually take the walk of shame in late morning to mid-afternoon on Saturdays and Sundays.

There are a few techniques in order to avoid this embarrassing experience. One way is to walk home afterward instead of spending the night. The "significant" other may not like this too much, but it will save you in the long run. Another technique is to leave the apartment anywhere between 5am and 9:30am. The majority of the people in this town will still be sleeping, so you will be less likely to be the center of attention or run into someone you know. If you wake up after 9:30, TAKE A SHOWER AND FIX YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and make sure you are at least presentable before going out in public. Running and dodging cars never works, so don't even try it. You just make yourself more noticeable by doing this, and look stupid in the process. You could also call a friend to pick you up instead of walking. Girls: Keep all your necessities in your purse. This includes a brush, makeup, toothbrush, and perfume. These are all perfect for preventing some of the humiliation that you are about to experience.

For all of you out there making the walk of shame right now, I say, STRIDE WITH PRIDE my friends. Hold your head up and keep your dignity. Everyone goes through it, and we all understand. This is a college town known for its great parties. Sure, some people will laugh, but they are probably just remembering the weekend before when they made the same journey as you are.